I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
