Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
