she kept yelling 'call me bella'
vagina is talking i cant
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
