pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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