It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
