Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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