I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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