windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
