Banned from zoo.
Again?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
