omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
