I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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