Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
