Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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