how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Text me some of your sweat
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize