your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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