what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize