my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Can't talk, ducks in the car
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
