FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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