And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
