I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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