Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
