arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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