I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize