she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
