I am puke
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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