he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
