I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
