But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
