it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
