just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
