I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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