I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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