There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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