my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
