I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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