Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
