I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
