We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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