my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
