i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
