Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize