We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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