Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
