i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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