Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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