You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
