i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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