Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
