My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
