youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize