That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
