Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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