Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize