i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
