I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
