not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
