quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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