do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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