Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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