lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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