Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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