Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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