So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
