I'm jealous of your bromance
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
