i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
