question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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