i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize