People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
