he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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